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Why I hate New Year's (keeping it real)
And how "One Day at a Time" is important.
Michele Paiva
December 31, 2024
Happy New Year- even if it is a hard time for you (it is not a great holiday for me)
First - trivia!
Trivia: What common New Year’s tradition can harm your mental health if done the wrong way?
(I know there are a few, but I’m looking for one specifically)
As the calendar turns, we’re often tempted to pile on resolutions, striving to become “better” versions of ourselves. But one of the most profound lessons I’ve learned, especially from recovery programs I’ve spearheaded using the “big book” from AA, is that change doesn’t come from grand plans. It comes from taking things one day at a time.
Let me share a story:
A man struggling with alcoholism once told his sponsor that he couldn’t imagine staying sober for the rest of his life. The sponsor smiled and said, “You don’t have to. Just stay sober until tonight.” That simple shift—from overwhelming long-term goals to manageable, daily intentions—changed everything for him.
This lesson doesn’t just apply to alcoholism, overeating, financial spending, or codependency recovery; it’s a mindset for living. Whether you are navigating challenges, pursuing dreams, or just trying to feel less stressed, focusing on today (only) can be transformative.
As we step into this New Year, instead of overloading yourself with resolutions, consider:
What’s one small step I can take today to feel more balanced?
What’s one habit I can let go of to make room for joy?
How can I focus on progress, not perfection?
The beauty of “one day at a time” is that it gives us permission to start small and stay present, allowing meaningful change to unfold naturally.
Here’s my quick story of why I can’t stand New Year’s. (Keeping it real!)
My mother was in her final days of hospice.
It was 1999.
She wanted to live to see “2000” which seemed surreal and magical to her. When it was midnight in Australia, we - all gathered around my mother’s weak little body” started saying (we didn’t yell) Mom! You made it! You made it! It is 2000!
She opened her sleepy eyes. She smiled. I heard her whisper “Yay!” and then, minutes later she was barely able to be woken.
That was her last smile.
The last time I saw her eyes open.
So, when I hear the sounds of the New Year, it brings me back to that memory.
I’m not morose though. As I type this at 6:03 pm, I am ready to make my poached pears and drink eggnog while I watch a movie.
A few days later she passed, on January 4th. By the way, you will notice that every year, I am always off on January 4th…. it’s my day to remember her. One day at a time, I heal and remember.
What are you adding to your life this year? Anything new?
This year, I’m adding something new and deeply meaningful to my life: cross-stitching.
I was inspired by a client, T., an incredible artist whose passion and creativity opened my eyes to the beauty and joy of this timeless craft. Seeing some of her creations- intricate designs - and discussing her patience and intention was not only awe-inspiring but also a reminder of how art can be a powerful form of self-care.
Also, more watercolor inspired by client K!
Starting immediately, I’m embracing this art and this craft as a way to bring more mindfulness into my days. Specifically, I want to talk about Cross-stitching-
It offers so many therapeutic benefits:
Stress Relief: The repetitive motion of stitching can help calm the mind, much like meditation.
A Sense of Accomplishment: Seeing a design take shape, one stitch at a time, fosters pride and joy in creation.
Improved Focus: It requires concentration, helping to quiet racing thoughts and stay present.
Creative Expression: Designing or following patterns allows for a unique way to channel emotions and ideas.
There’s something beautifully symbolic about stitching: one thread at a time, (just like one day at a time is beautiful) you build something whole, complete, and unique. Much like life, it’s a process that rewards patience, practice, and presence.
To T., thank you for inspiring me to pick up the needle and thread. Here’s to a year of creativity, calm, and colorful new beginnings!
On that note, I hope you all have many smiles and look into the eyes of your loved ones in the coming years.
Here’s to a year of clarity, kindness to yourself smiles, and progress—one day at a time.
Love,
Michele
Share this to earn referral rewards/gifts.
PS Thank you to my sponsor this week, for helping me keep prices lower and free, for my clients!
TRIVIA ANSWER:
Setting overly ambitious resolutions!
While resolutions are a popular way to kick off the year, they can backfire when they’re too rigid or unrealistic. Instead of motivating, they can lead to stress, self-doubt, and burnout. This year, focus on setting intentions—gentle, purposeful goals that support your mental health and allow for progress, not perfection. If you said overeating, over-imbibing, etc, they’d be correct as well!
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